A Human Mistake Part 7

"Silence, that's all I could hear, I can't believe it, I survived!"

Skoodge made a little victory dance; if anyone else was around they would laugh at the alien's ridiculous attempt at dancing.

"I was currently hiding on the city's foul sewers, somehow the polluted, smelly and poorly build underground… thing ended up being the perfect bomb shelter, unbelievable! Did I say unbelievable? I meant incomprehensible!"

The fat Irken went to find some stairs so he could get out of the sewer, the smell was horrible!, and when he found them, well he made sure he wasn't being followed, after all, even someone as gullible as the little invader had his moments of paranoia… you could easily blame that on the fact that Skoodge had been living with Zim a little longer than he originally planed to, hell sometimes the ex-invader wondered if Zim even remembered he had moved in with him… probably not.

Anyways going back to the story… in the time he was here Skoodge saw several rats and each time he screamed like a little girl, he just couldn't get over his fears of rats… after all; those enormous things nearly killed him when he was on Blorch.

He shook his head, now was not the time to remember his several near death experiences, if anything it was time to find Zim, he reached the surface, he had to use his PAK to open the manhole cover.

PUMP! PUMP! PUMP!

"Just a little more!"

PUMP! PUMP! PUMP!

"Come on!"

Finally the cover opened and Skoodge got out but the moment he did, he started to choke, the air was poisonous!

"Ack!, cough, cough, cough!"

Skoodge hits the street floor and spammed uncontrollably, "air, need air!""

Suddenly his PAK reacted to the Irken's lack of oxygen and an invisible helmet materialized within seconds.

Skoodge began to breathe again, taking in as much air as he could "what the hell did Zim put in that bomb!"

He slowly but surely got up and weakly made his way to Zim's base.

As Skoodge noticed his surroundings, it was painfully obvious that his fellow outcast has succeeded, life on Earth was no more, and unfortunately this almost meant the planet was of no use to the Empire due to the poisonous gas that was all over the place.

"Zim never learned to think ahead"

The short alien turned around every time he thought he heard a sound only to come to the conclusion that it was all in his mind.

Step by step the Irken grew weary, apparently he had taken in a lot of poisonous air the few seconds he was unprotected, he had to reach the base now!

His eyes were turning slightly pink; it was the Irken's way of having a 5 o'clock shadow, his PAK could give him oxygen as long as he kept active, the moment his heart stopped so would the PAK… yeah what a cruel thing.

"By the Tallest!" Skoodge exclaimed "This place looks the same as planet Yujipolt before it became Devastis!"

Needless to say, horrible memories came back, before becoming an Invader, Skoodge was once a part of the planetary conversion team, he remembered clearly every assignment he was given, the most disturbing one was when he was told to help build Foodcourtia, the Vaxosaurians did not give up without a fight.

Some had survived and killed a few of his fellow teammates; ultimately Tallest Miyuki had given the go to cause the first ever organic sweep, pretty much killing the remaining aliens as well as a few other Irkens.

"They were replaceable" he was told.

Skoodge was a nice guy but he selfishly wanted more, he wanted respect and that was the only reason he tried so hard to become an invader.

But he was happy with being a technician… but sometimes thing changed.

He was short, he was a technician because he was good at his job, then he got tired of never being taken seriously and tried to become a part of the Irken elite.

"And I succeeded"

He almost got eaten when Tallest Spork died.

Skoodge shuddered at the memory.

After years Skoodge passes the test that would give him the title of "Invader".

The Irken wheezed, time was running out "but how?"

He ran a diagnostic on his PAK and found out that his air supply had a leak, his PAK had been damaged in the massive explosion, somehow he wasn't surprised, not everything ended the way he wanted.

"And they never will"


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Again, he began walking; he was so close to the base, he could actually see it thanks to his ocular implants.

As he went forward the dying alien began to think about his past again, it was funny really, Zim of all people had been with him during all the bad things in his life, mostly because he caused said bad things, as surprisingly as this sounds, Skoodge did not hate Zim, that is not to say he was afraid of him sometimes.

Despite everything, the defective did not hate Skoodge like the Tallest did; if anything he just showed resentment for conquering his assigned planet first.

"Since I conquered BLORCH blah blah blah… Quit rubbing it in my face!"

"Yup, he was resentful all right"

Without any reason at all, Skoodge did another little dance, only to get tired quickly.

"I shouldn't have done that"

The sun was beginning to set and he was getting closer to Zim's base but it still looked pretty far away… then he saw something, something tiny and… gray?

He puts a gloved hand over his eyes in hopes of seeing exactly who or what was coming his way.

"Is that?... is that Gir?"

Indeed, Gir was flying his way… in duty mode

"Ok, that's a good sign… I guess" Skoodge muttered but then he screamed trying to get the SIR Unit's attention, "GIR! HEY GIR OVER HERE!"


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Unfortunately Gir did not see him as he flew passed him, the robot was so hell bent in finding his master that he ignored everything else around him, it was really scary, almost as if for the first time ever he had an objective at hand.

And he did, finding his master was crucial, everything else didn't matter.

He didn't even register that he may have doomed Skoodge by being so dedicated to his insane master.

"I won't let you down master!" Gir shouted in duty mode "Wait for MEE!"


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And continued flying into unknown territory.

Skoodge raised an eyebrow and said in irritation "Ok, being ignored officially blows!"

His ride to a faster way home just got farther and farther away, he just couldn't get a break!

"Ugh"

The invader began to crawl since his legs decided to give up on him just then.

"So close… I can make it!"

Skoodge pretty much resembled a dying sloth right about now, and had the situation not been literally a mater of life and death, his predicament wouldn't have been funny.

Guess it's only funny to sadists then, and since the Tallest weren't around to see this, which Skoodge was eternally grateful by the way, then the people who are reading thing and are laughing at Skoodge will go to hell.

Shame on you all!

Soon enough Skoodge stopped breathing; his PAK gave out as well as his heart.

The cause of death? ... the damn leak in his PAK that kept putting poisonous air in his Squeedly Spooch.

Ah but the story doesn't end there.


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Skoodge looked around, rubbing his eyes. It was so bright. The light seemed to come from everywhere. It was blinding. He felt as if he was in suspended animation… creepy.

His body felt weightless which was a miracle considering all the fatness he had, but still he couldn't remember when he had felt so.. .so. .

Pleasant.

It was certainly odd. The last thing he remembered was trying to reach the base that could save his life and then… nothing.

"Where am I?"

His voice hung thickly in the air, wavering slightly as if unsure of where its sound should travel.

He started walking, though everything seemed the same. White, all around. he began to wish that the white would end. It was becoming tiresome.

And as if his wishes had been answered, he felt his foot touch, what he could only believe to be, solid ground. His now red eyes opened wide, taking in what he saw.

It was a filthy place, but spotless compared to the post apocalyptic Earth. There was grass and a small outhouse a few feet away. Over his head, a sign hung, graffiti sprayed on it, but the letters were still clear.

Welcome To Heaven.. yes this means you Skoodge.

The Irken frowned and stared at the sign. "Heaven? What is this?"

A man behind a large white desk answered her question. "It's where good people go when they die. Name please."

Skoodge stared, dumbfounded, at the man. he was dead?

"Go figure"

Still, he couldn't remember dying. That however ended up being a good thing, I mean just who would want to remember their last agonizing breaths right?

"Name please" Said the man again, resting his chin in his hand, doodling on some papers, his eyes looking bored with everything he had to put up with.

"What for?" asked the Irken, still suspicious of everything.

The man groaned with annoyance, "I need your name so I can admit you into heaven. Now stop asking questions and give it to me!"

"um, Invader Skoodge?."

The man sighed, "Finally." He wrote something down on his little sheet of paper, and behind him, a set of golden gates creaked open. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go right ahead!."

Skoodge blinked, taking a hesitant step toward the gates before pausing, "I just have one more question."

The man let out a sound between a groan and a sob, "What!? Why can't you just leave?!"

The alien frowned but ignored his plea, "I was wondering why am I in heaven… I mean shouldn't I go to hell for oh I dunno helping exterminate other races and stuff?"

"Meh, you want to go to hell?" The man asked, because that can be easily arranged.

"NO, NO!" Skoodge pleaded "I just wanted to know why I am not going there?"

"Beats me, God seems to think you're not evil so that's pretty much the only reason your not with your friend Zim in the other place so if you want further information you're going to have to talk to the big guy… now stop holding up the line and get in there!"

"All right all right, gee, well uh, thanks for answering"

"Whatever kid"

"Ya know, your kinda mean"

"And your fat and ugly"

The Irken entered heaven and gasped at what he saw

"SNACKS!" He exclaimed "YAY!"